I have encountered A LOT of mommies/daddies this year with little "wild" children that are movers and shakers in the most unique of ways. Even if I don't know you, I can spot you a mile away. I know how you feel.
Apprehensive. Worried. Tired.
I want to rush up to you and give you chocolate and a hug and tell you things (but I've learned some people get freaked out by that kind of thing). I am thinking of you.
I want to say to you: the thing about school- some are simply not ready to conform, they are not ready to sit all day, they are not ready for cause and effect, they are not ready for the curriculum, they are not ready for certain social skills.
In short on an assessment that means- behind/ below/ bad. (a mom reads 'I am behind/below/bad'). You can say what you want but that is what we feel.
Let me give you a spoiler alert: it all means growing. (No you don't get an award for it at the end of year program or even a high freaking five while you sit on hard bleachers for hours but it STILL counts.)
The judgement is the hardest part. We know the scriptures tell us that each child is different, each child is at their own pace, each child is a blessing 'fearfully and wonderfully made'...but that is easy for you to say when you are not the one facing the judgement. Judgement from those we love. On top of that, I know how people REALLY feel about 'different'. We all judge (we can't help it). But when you know it's being done to you because your child is not doing 'like everyone else' it is crippling.
My child might be acting like a nut but I'm not one (completely), and I know good and well what that look over my head means. A few notable well meaning but misunderstood quotes that will never leave my head.... 'this 4 year old can do it, so why can't Connor? I'm tired of your excuses.' 'if you would give him a few good spankings he might quit acting like that...' (oh really? its the first thing I tried and it's the easiest thing to do.) 'I wouldn't expect the honor roll from him but he will make it', 'he won't behave in church unless you make him'.
There are a lot of you out there crying at night because you want to know your child isn't living a hard day of being 'that kid'.
Each communication about 'behavior', each time you have to discipline when you would rather cuddle, each proactive plan you make, each book you read, each revision of schedule, each prayer, each doctor's visit.... it is exhausting but it really counts. No seriously, it counts. Not counts like when the wifi and cable go down and you tell off the technician while it boots back up, but it counts like wayyyyyy down the road when all the skills start coming together.
This year, oh sweet year! I'm starting to see something happen.
An assessment would call it a- "result".
I see a fine young man emerging.
No one appreciates a fine young boy emerging like a parent of a wild child. A very dyslexic boy who can write his own stories and has an A average in reading. A boy who can do his own homework. A boy who likes school. A boy who is excited about being in the church Christmas play and who is excited his equally wild best friend was saved this year. A boy who can process more plays in football and doesn't feel so very behind. A sick boy who doesn't want to miss school so he can 'take his test' before he forgets the skills he studied. A boy who teaches his 'quiet' sister how to show grace to others she deems as 'a non rule follower'.
Oh sure, these skills might be behind but who gives a turkey? They are coming.
Oh sure, our journey is just starting. The strong will is alive and well. The tween is coming (and I want to smack it down). The work is still hard. He still tries to gauge the loudness of his burps and he says things like 'don't say shedding with a British accent or you might hear something else....[insert his laugh]'.
But I can appreciate every little thing because Wild Kids are Blessings.
To survive I think we will: a. laugh often b. be consistent (and find) what works for positive change c. embrace the special village that loves the wild children as much as we do d. pray
......because it all COUNTS.
Love,
The Queen of the Wild
