2017 Quote Night

This month I have the winter blues.
It may be the weather (hot, cold, hot, cold), politics (crazy, mean, crazy, mean), or the long hill upwards to finishing third and fourth semester (deadlines, projects, deadlines, projects),
but I have been feeling low.

 

Tonight the FAM decided to go out for a rare outing.  We enjoyed a nice meal gifted to us for Christmas.  There is nothing like a nice family meal to lift you up a bit.  

The citrus chili avocado steak was awesome! 

My current status:  both of my children now have the blues because they are in their rooms crying after I laid down the sassy mouth gauntlet. However, my mood is much better because I have quite a few quotes taken from tonight.  I'm also watching an episode of Cops.  This show is great. And, if I hear 'mom is mean' I can scream out "YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ON COPS WHEN YOU GROW UP DO YOU??" For example, There is a woman right now who is getting arrested for being drunk and taking her (unsupervised) toddler to a bar.    By comparison, I am WINNING at parenting.  

Enjoy our family quotes:

Connor:  At recess I heard you can buy condos at the gas station.  They keep people from making out.
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Carlee:  Dad are you going to get a toe pay? [toupee] 
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[Hears siren from ambulance.]
Me: Is that a police car?
Carlee:  That is not police.  It's 'mergency vehicle.
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Connor:  Some video games are so violent they encourage people to kill each other, but don't worry my videos games just encourage me to wrestle professionally.
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Connor:  MeMe has season tickets to my games.
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Darren:  Connor you need to gain some weight.
Connor:  Dad I'm an 11 year old boy, I'm not suppose to have a Nikki Minaj butt!
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Carlee:  “I can’t wait for 'gindergarten, preschool is too much.”
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Darren: I wish it would snow for four weeks.
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In traffic, get behind car that has a license tag that says 'AllensMom'.
Me:  I don't think Connor wants my license tag to identify me as his mother and vice versa.
Darren:  You should get a car tag that says 'Darren's Wife'.
Amanda:  You mean like DarrWFE?  
Gets behind a van that says 'Gett I Up'.
Me:  If I'm going to pay extra I want it to say, 'YEEEEHA'.
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Darren:  There are just some strange people out there.
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Connor:  I need a new bed.
Darren:  You don't need a new bed.
Connor: I want a bed like mom's bed.  Her bed puts her to sleep right away.
Me:  That has nothing to do with my bed.
I could sleep on concrete. My tired is tired.
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[gets in trouble]
Carlee:  You are a scaredy cat.
Me:  I'm going to scaredy your cat.
Connor:  That is just weird.
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Connor:  Mom, we have to have this leopard print pillow so I can lay back on it like Donald Trump.
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Carlee:  At school we do group hugs but you have to stand up to hug together.
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Connor:  Dad, are you sad that you have to drive a van instead of a cool car?
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1.  Kids get candy sucker/ flashlights at store.
2. In car, kids fight over the same candy sucker flashlights.
3.  Carlee:  He broke mine!! [screams and cries] 
Connor:  No I didn't.
4. Me- grabs sucker/flashlight out of child's hand in rage... "I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE HER ALONE".
5. Sucker/ flashlight is not broken until mom jerks it from child, it pops out, hits the roof of car, windshield, and then floor.  
It is officially broke.
Connor (screams):  Mom broke it.  Mom broke it Carlee!
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Carlee:  Do you try to say jokes a lot mom?
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Me:  Why are we going to Roses?  This is a waste of time. We aren't going to find couch covers there??

Connor:  Also, Roses is not well lit.  We should go to a safe place like Walmart.
[Find couch covers after looking for six months.]
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Connor: Do you know who I thought of when I made that play today?
Me:  Your awesome mom?
Connor:  Nope.  Awesome Dennis Rodman.  
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