I decided take solace with my family
(perhaps I should have went with Plan B).
We first went to our favorite place to eat.
I split a delicious shrimp taco with Connor,
who was mad because it had tomato in it.
Darren ordered all of us water,
and I was mad because I
Carlee's cheese quesadilla was hot,
she was mad it was hot.
I cooled it,
she was mad because of the way I cooled it.
I stress ate chips.
Darren asked me if I was 'packing it in?' I think he said a movie quote and normally we would laugh BUT tonight....
I suddenly became PRO gun.
Next, Connor suggested we shop.
Connor had money, and he could not wait to spend it, SAVE is not in his vocab.
Oh look, another wrestler to go with the other 100
(and he owes me $3.00).
Thank you for joining other Americans in debt Connor. I feel like a great parent.
Carlee spent 45 minutes between choosing a Barbie we couldn't afford (this isn't a CHOICE dear so quit choosing it), Superhero Barbie, and a Barbie with a flower bathing suit (I bet this Barbie doesn't eat chips).
I'm totally inventing a Barbie that eats chips, wears Xtra large yoga pants, has her hair in a bun, and quotes Mystery Science Theater 3000. I think it will be a total hit.
Darren gave her five seconds or nothing, we are leaving in five seconds.........
I gave her 10 minutes and a pep talk of why Superhero Barbie with glitter stars is The BOMB (the bomb in a good way, like cool... no it doesn't come with a bomb... no..... no explosion.. she stops explosion....never mind...)
At the register, I threw in a $5.00 trash tabloid magazine.
Darren took it out, put it on the rack, and said that was "too much for a magazine".
I did the wife thing.... 'ok, fine'.
(Where is that gun?)
On our way home, I did the other wife thing in the car where you say what you really feel. I express in a haughty voice "I have had a very long day, a very, very, very long day and I can get a trash magazine if I want to get a trash tabloid magazine! I loaded the dishwasher twice after working a 45 hour workweek, I spent 40 minutes Googling fraction homework this week, I dressed Princess Elsa in an outfit that doesn't even fit. I made elastic pants look professional. I make things happen people!!!" etc. etc. etc.
Darren tried to reason... "but is $5.00 really worth....couldn't you subscribe for less...."
"YES! YES! If my judgement deems it appropriate to get a magazine that I don't have to wait by the mailbox for, give me my tabloid! I deserve it! and WHY won't this Hero Barbie open up. What kind of Japanese packaging is this...."
Yes, Carlee I can hear you screaming.
Connor don't say Shut Up. Seriously, if you don't shut up saying shut up, I am going to shut you UP.
We all ended the night in exhaustion. I simmered over my tabloid magazine that could have been (how am I to know how Brittany lost all that baby weight? You mean Ben and Jen are getting back together?), my no good day, and Superhero Barbie's very non-feminist short skirt with Gogo boots (can you fight crime in that outfit? really? what message am I sending to my child?).
Thankfully, the next day was a new day. We spent some time outside, I got some chores done, it was all good.
Then after Darren worked all day, he brought home a gift:
 |
| HOW SWEET!!! |
I feel better than Super Barbie:
The moral of the story: don't let tabloid fodder conquer and divide, don't feel pressure to be a hero in Gogo boots and a short skirt, and understand that family is where the true crime fighting happens.
#Blessings
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