At first I was like Massa... What??
We had never been but I was all about it.
Massanutten Resort is a valley at the southern end of Massanutten Mountain. It's a beautiful cereal bowl for golfers. The landscapes look as if Bob Ross painted it. Best of all it is not overtaken with commercialism. The kids were not bombarded with 'Ride this Earthquake for 10.00!', 'Get a Henna tattoo', 'See wax people at the Great Massanutten!' One of the most disappointing things of my life was the commercialism that covered the beautiful Niagara Falls area when I first visited it.
I was looking forward to a trip! Changes are happening in my household. In one month my husband will be 44, in two months my son will be 14, and in 9 months my 7 year old daughter will be 21.
I have questions for the women in my life who have experienced these 'changes', such as "how did you prevent drinking full time?"
I was never a "time please slow down mom", of course I love my children as tots but I was always excited by the next phase of their lives. Growing is an exciting time... until age 13. I have had the hardest time reconciling the boy I gave birth with the growing young man in my house. The fact that my once lovable fellow who would drag me across the hall to see the hotel ice machine in excitement is now a teen who would rather walk alone in a darkened, crime invested alley than to get a Fro Yo with me. (Even with my new cool shades on!)
My husband? No problem with the boy getting older. I mean seriously. No Problem. Wasn't it in our wedding vows "thou shall suffer with wife during teen years?"
Other questions include but not limited to:
-Is there a secret rule that after age 40 men shall hyper-focus on one topic for long periods of time (usually a topic women care nothing about)?
-Is there a rule that women over 40 shall go insane one eye roll at a time?
-Is there a rule that little girls want to be the boss?
It's like I've walked into the Anti Mom School of Rules with strict consequence (only I don't know the rules).
Needless to say, vacation was a good time to connect. And because I am all about authenticity, I included a few "Reality Moments" with my "picture perfect" family. I hope you take them with the humor that I use to survive.
I also hope you enjoy my family and the scenery as much as I did!
Happy Reading
The Sechrists Take Massanutten!
We stayed in a very cute condominium. It was so peaceful and quiet (until we arrived). Carlee couldn't wait to pack and unpack herself. Is that girl or what!?!
It can be very overwhelming once you arrive. My suggestion is to have a guide mailed to you prior (which we did not do). This will let you know about all of the activities and days that are going on around the area. Activities range from golf lessons to a teen pool party, crafting, movie night, and spa treatments. The cost ranges but I felt everything was very reasonable. This place almost reminded me of Kellerman's Resort in Dirty Dancing (just replace golf for dancing and two tired middle aged parents for Johnny and Baby).
The indoor/ outdoor water park is a big attraction for the resort. It was within a 2 minute drive from our stay and about 50% cheaper than Great Wolf Lodge. We actually saved about 60.00 by going in the evening hours and still had four hours left for surfing, tubing, water slides, wave pool, etc.
It was really neat.
Reality Moment
Connor: I’m bored. I’m ready to go.
Me/ Mom: What!?! We paid a lot of money!! We can’t just leave. Now go have fun!
Do you want to go tubing with me?
Connor: (looks at me like I gave birth to aliens at the water park). uh. no
Me/Mom (looks at dad): Tell him that he needs to have fun.
Darren/ Dad: (un-phased) I’m worried about that scratch on the back of the car rental.
When we read about pony riding, we knew Carlee had to go for this one. Ever since Ms. A's lesson, she loves her some horses. When she is old enough, we will definitely will take the scenic-trail horse ride! This manly horse is named Rambo (not to be mistaken for Rainbow, thank you very much).
Reality Moment
Me/ Mom: (to teen son) Quit saying you are visiting Mass Nuts!
Connor: (laugh hysterically) …Mass Nuts Resort
Me/ Mom: I’m serious. Stop It.
Darren/Dad (un-phased): I don't know what to think about that scratch. It looks like they tried to buff it out. I think I'll call them again.
Who doesn't love a few breathtaking views?!?
Look at those sweetie pies.
-Bounce/ Go Karts/ Mini Golf:
Wherever we vacation Darren knows to look for a few things- a. water b. Go Karts c. miniature golf.
These are the family favorites. Darren said our card has 7.00 deducted like 9 times because Connor absolutely loves to race! He could not get enough.
I think Connor found another career choice-
Cirque du Soleii!
My favorite place to eat was the Campfire Grill. We were blessed with such perfect weather- no rain, between 75-85 degree weather, and a slight breeze.
We ate outside and enjoyed the food and the atmosphere. (I didn't try the dessert S'mores but another thing for the bucket list.)
In the evenings we ate at the condo. There are a lot of grills/picnic tables outside of the compartment, so grilling is an option if you want to do that instead.
Reality Moment
Darren: That little car rental gets pretty good gas mileage. The auto locks are acting kind of funny. Did you notice that?
Connor: Why doesn’t mom fix me breakfast like this?
Me/ Mom: (Pretend my tongue fell off. Don’t say anything...)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! I OFFER, IF NOT MAKE, YOU BREAKFAST EVERYDAY THIS SUMMER AND YOU SAY ‘I’M NOT HUNGRY’. YOU REFUSE TO EAT!!!!
Carlee: (sighs) You two should be separated.
Darren/ Dad: (un-phased) Isn’t the process of text amazing? How does it get to one phone from another?
Connor found a charm for a friend-girl (🤔), Connor's Candy, and a magnet. He was excited his name was spelled right because everyone spells it -er.
You get what you paid for.....
I'll leave it at that.
At Massanutten, there are several pools within a 1-2 minute driving distance. We actually had one within walking distance of our unit.
This was my favorite time because my kids were kids and we all just had fun swimming and lounging. I had a gentlemen from New York tell me how mature and nice Connor was (because as we know striking up conversations with strangers is easy for us).
Reality Moment
(20 visits to the pool with mom trying to show Carlee how to swim/ float in the blazing sun this summer.
One lesson with dad.)
Carlee: Daddy taught me to swim!!
Carlee: Daddy taught me to swim!!
Reality Moment
Carlee: Are there bears here? That sign says “Watch for Bears”.
Me/Mom: (thinking- now you can read all the words?!)
No honey, no bears. They don’t like people. No worries.
Connor: I saw an episode on National Geographic where a bear ate the whole family and started with the sister first.
Darren/Dad and Me/ Mom: CONNOR!?! Shut It!
(Carlee refuses to walk more than a few inches up the trail without major coaxing and reassurance there is no bear behind each tree.)
We did a bit of hiking that lasted for about 10 minutes before we just turned the whole party back (but it could have been fun with people who like to hike).
Reality Moment
Me/Mom: Will everyone stop complaining! It is time to disconnect and enjoy the world around you. This is Nature’s iPad.
(family laughs at corny mom for saying ‘Nature’s iPad’).
Carlee really stalled the process looking out for Black Bears.
We did enjoy the overlook and views.
Connor and Darren brought the tackle box but never got the chance to fish.
Reality Moment
Darren/ Dad: (looks over a the dashboard as we get out for hike and sees a smear from my sneaker) oh yep. yep. that is going to have to be cleaned up before we return the rental.
Me/ Mom: (pretend I’m dead. pretend I’m dead. Don’t say anything. ) SERIOUSLY! I CAN’T HEAR ABOUT THIS RENTAL A SINGLE SECOND. ONE SWIPE OF A BABY WIPE WILL GET THAT OFF. STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CAR!
(everyone stares at crazy mom.)
Things we did not fit in but had on our list (maybe you can): corn hole / volleyball tournament (free), gem mining (7 each), fishing (free with fishing license/ rent equipment), one hour cell phone photography class (25), and mother/ daughter spa (25 and up).
Good Bye Massanutten!
Thanks for the Memories
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