Loving: The Unbalanced Chronicles

Saturday, October 7, 2017

September Blessings

What a week this has been!

It started with the terrible news that my friend's husband and classmate had passed away, then my knee just started randomly swelling on and off to the point I had to wobble up the halls (I know I need to go to the doctor), then midweek I met my teacher friends for a late night at the hospital to assist with a student (people have no idea the love of a teacher), the day of the funeral Connor came down with strep, and we had three tests and a project due this week. If you add current world news and the worst massacre in US history, you have one. bad. week.

random knee swelling

Needless to say, last night I laid on the couch, rented Wonder Woman, bought four songs off of iTunes, and when that alarm sounded off this morning, I hit snoozed and rolled over. Before I start my full day, I've decided to lounge and share my September Blessings to replenish my spirt.

My baby boy turned a year older:

With all of our changes and schedules this month, we kept the celebration low key with family:

I let Carlee pick out a game for Connor (with lots of guidance) of course.

We had his favorite dinner (shrimp and steak).

And the most exciting gift from the grands- a phone!

We love you Connor. You are the best part of all of us and I'm so proud of what an awesome dude you are in this crazy world.

Happy Birthday

******

We finally got (a badly needed) new kitchen table. It came with four chairs but we moved two of them downstairs and added the bench. I love the bench.

I can't believe how much I like working in Middle School.

My middle school babies are so awesome.

As a whole, we are pushing these students to grow and be more responsible, but I find they still need lots of support and nurturing (which happens to be my favorite).

my math skills are reaching past counting to 30

This. Girl.

I love every minute of every day with her.

This was our first Roller Derby Party.

It was so sweet.

We can't wait to go skating again.

This child sure has come far from the girl who cried over every. single. thing.

ie. Like I can't reach this chicken nugget.

Football Season -

Supporting a BFF

Some things remain the same, like friendships and making up games that get water EVERYWHERE.

#boys

Milkshake Mania

We finally decided to go to the Burger Batch for the WORLD Famous Milkshakes.

sharing with daddy

I found the service to be bad, the space to be small/ loud, the novelty shakes to be overpriced, and the food 'eh'.

That is my grand review but the shakes do make a pretty picture:

Cars & Bowling

I know the boy trend now is long soccer socks with basketball shorts, but with bowling shoes.......

Hillarious

Carlee did NOT play around with the bowling ball.

We had a great time, but little D. and I were terrible.

We even tried trading the lucky hamburger hat for a better score but it did not help us one bit.

(I take that back- it helped us look cooler.)

Mrs. S.'s Baby Gender Party-

Gender Reveal Parties were not the thing when I had my children but they sure are a lot of fun.

Sadly, we didn't get to wait for the gender gun to shoot (because the kids were scared of the noise) but Connor and Carlee were right, Mrs. S is having a GIRL!! whoooooooooo.

Thank you God for all the many blessings, and I pray that we all take the time to praise you in good times and bad.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

An Unfair Chapter

Everyone has a story.

When I meet people, I want to know- what is your story?

It is how I process the world, allll those stories are out there.

Today I went to the funeral of a person I knew and whose story ended too abruptly. All I can think is- it isn’t fair. A story shouldn’t end in the middle.

It really isn’t fair.

Last night, I looked through several of my yearbooks. I was reminiscing and yet I was looking at the pictures through a new lens, using the eye of a mother, teacher, older person. How I wish young people could be more understanding and loving with each other. It was during my 10th-grade year that I was having a very challenging time at home and finding my place in this world. I was a girl who preferred fantasy over reality and craved acceptance (even if it meant being a mean girl myself). Out of my entire sophomore year, I remember two things. a. the passing of a classmate b. World Geography.

It was during World Geography that I met the most unlikely of chapters- a senior name Gregg. He was the total opposite of me. He dressed in darker and more eclectic clothing, and I dressed in pink sweats. He listened to “alternative music” like Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, while I loved Montell Jordan (This is How We Do It)... I know, I know... CRINGE. He had a more worldly view of things, and I only cared about what my peers thought of me. I still have no clue how we became friends that year, maybe it was our common friend Jo., but either way, I was sucked into some big fun.

I abandoned trying to be a studious student who filled out maps in “groups” for telling good jokes and poking fun at high school life. The three of us (me and two goofy boys) were pretty much that annoying group that sits in the back corner of class and gets in trouble constantly. Once we were kicked (literally kicked) out of class for being too disruptive. I only got kicked out once, I think Gregg got kicked out twice (or more) for trying to cheat off a carefully hidden map of Europe stuffed in his long hoodie.

high school- maybe I was starting my first blog?

Although we were silly, goofy, and immature, we were also smart and ahead of our time on many issues. The three of us knew even then that it wasn’t cool to be mean to gay people (even though that was not the most popular thing to do at the time). We knew that the world lacked the love and forgiveness it needed, and we would cry at the thought of real people in the world hurt or struggling. Sometimes talk would turn serious about our struggles at home and at school and about the ways we wish we fit in more. Sometimes we would all three get into real fights and not speak. Gregg would say one day my husband would think I was cute when mad… which made me... (sic) more mad (and he was right because Darren says I’m cute when I’m mad, and I get MORE MAD). At the end of the year, I was devastated that I had lost ANOTHER school book (this one was about 60.00, I was so ADHD). Gregg and Jo. stole a black marker off the teacher’s desk and together they helped turn my number 11 into a 31. When we were done, it looked like the hottest mess you ever saw in your LIFE. 😆 The history teacher wasn’t having it. He got really mad at me about lying and messing up the book. I burst into tears and Gregg jumped to my defense and said it was all his fault (and it was not). The teacher had mercy on my soul but kept me after school to question why I hung around Gregg/ Jo. who kept me off task (or I kept them off task). I told him the truth 'they are good guys who make me laugh'. I guess at that time in my life God knew I needed two friends like this over finding where Sudan was on a map (Ps. I do know where Sudan is on a map). I remember attending Gregg's graduation that year because I wanted to support him and wish him luck (I don’t know how we passed that class). I gave him a huge hug and kiss, and I reminded him to stay in touch.

That closed the chapter on that book and we never really had another long conversation again but I would later be blessed to become friends with his soulmate and wife- Jess. I don’t remember how Jess and I became friends either. I think it started on Facebook and we began to share little stories, secrets, and feelings to the point we became really close much later in life. Although Darren grew up beside both of them, it was me who gradually came to know and love the whole family.

play: Anne of Green Gables

Last night, I was trying my hardest to dust the cobwebs out from my brain to remember every detail of that class when I was 15 years old. I was desperate to remember the details, to remember all the moments so that I could share them.

The thing I remember the most was that class was the only highlight of my day sometimes. Those ‘weirdo’ boys taught this girl that I was a ‘weirdo’ too… and that was pretty cool.

So today, a beautiful Fall day, where we should be complaining about silly things 'like too many leaves' and 'seasonal allergies', we instead laid our pal to rest. My heart broke for the family and I felt at a loss how to help.

It was a sweet ceremony. I sat between two old (but not too old 💗) high school friends. We giggled a bit about life now with toddlers, teens, and bad parenting techniques. We shared mints and mulled over memories while a Beatles song played. I loved when Jess' father spoke and he talked how 'Gregg became his own man'. It occurred to me that all of us 'weirdos' did come into our own and I’m so proud of us. I’m proud of Jess. She was so strong and eloquent when sharing the important things. I hope to be there more for her.

I’m proud to know them both.

This is the note I would want to pass in World Geography:

Dear Gregg, thank you for being such a sweet kid and good person and for reminding me that we are who we are and that is good enough.
Ps. Get your big shoes off the back of desk (you are shaking it when I fill in the maps).
Pss. Thanks for the good read buddy.

Amanda

socks for Gregg
They were too small so I made them into leg warmers for the funeral.
I think Kurt Cobain would like them too. :)

Monday, September 4, 2017

Week One: Back to School

Surprisingly, our first week back was a success!!

I say surprisingly because we have had so many 'what ifs' in the air. What if I remain sick? What if Carlee has trouble going to a new big school? What if Connor has trouble going to a new big school? What if I hate my new big school?

The first day of school and you can visibly see the nerves.

(can't you take your big brother with you on the first day of school??)

The night before school, I gave Carlee a heart necklace. I wore one-half and she wore one-half on the first day of kindergarten. Like the Kissing Hand, I told her to remember that mom will be thinking of her allllll day and to kiss her necklace if she feels scared. 💓

We are all about the "kissing jewelry".

Open House + Awesome Teachers

Eventually, the excitement outweighed the worries and everyone had a great week.

above my desk 💗

I kept meals simple and did zero chores during the first week back. After we settled, I read a book every night and tried to go to bed early.

I think it did a lot for my mental energy.

Here are a few scenes from our first week:

My coworker gave me the sweetest gift. It's a little cloth coaster for my desk (made by her grandmother).

A kindness rock found in memory of a child who had attended our school.

Off on his own, while I tend to sister.

I'm not crying? Who is crying? I'm not crying?

remember this?

and we had a great K. year!

Mrs. E. is always there! :)

For me, I was afraid that going from a self-contained teacher for 14 years to more inclusion would present a challenge, but it has been very exciting.